too much, recalibrate.
A typical thing - me being me - is that i optimize most things. My days, how i spend my time, the things i get done and so on. A slight version of ADHD? meeeh… idk, maybe? Either way. I have reached a point where i’m close to exhaustion. Had a 1-1 talk with my boss today, and he had noticed this as well. I came in late, i left early. For the past month. In my mind, this was all optimization from my end… But i get why he’s wondering about this sudden change in behavior. I’ll try to explain:
After the summer holidays, i have started a few new projects - as well as planning to start more… And continuing the ones that i was already working on. For starters, this blog. It’s all fun, and it generally gives me a ton of joy being able to do this - but: it takes time. I have pushed out one game, and keep on crunching to push out another game in the coming weeks - it takes time. I will start to study part-time towards earning my Master’s degree - that will take time.
Then, we have my 9-5 job, going to the gym, and so on.
I have realized that i don’t really have enough hours during the day, to get all the things i want to get done; done. At least, thats the feeling i’m left with. So i have to focus on what to give a fuck about (as Mark Manson would say).
Soo… what now?
So, i have to optimize - but in a different direction this time. I will deliberately give myself some “time off” different tasks, and rather make notes, which i can apply later on. When it comes to all things game-dev, i will reserve my weekends for this, so i don’t introduce that level of stress or mental energy into my daily tasks. I have, for the past weeks - been going to work, got home, and started to script and do designs etc. It’s all fun, by all means… but it requires focus. I have practically been working 14 hour days for the past couple of weeks. Including weekends.
If i get an idea, or really have the urge to implement something whilst its still fresh in mind; sure, i’ll get straight at it. But as a general rule of thumb: “No, note it down, save it for the weekend. As a treat.” this way, it won’t become a chore, or something i feel i have to do. Instead, it becomes something i’m lucky to get to do, and something to look forward to.
Going forward
This is by no means even related to a farewell kind of thing. Quite the opposite. This is more of a: “Tons of stuff that i want to do - how to get it done”. This way, i will create space in my schedule for exploring the new projects i want to get involved in, to learn more awesome stuff, and to continue to evolve as both a creator and a creative.
Thank you for reading this - you’re a big part of why this gives me the energy it does! No joke! I’m smiling as i write this, because this blog is bringing me so much joy! Ten readers, one reader, no readers; It makes me happy. So from the bottom of my heart; thank you.